Holding Space

The seconds tick by in silence. I’m feeling my feet on the ground as I wait for her to speak. She’s had such a hard time feeding her baby, and she no longer trusts her body to produce enough milk. Silence is hard for me, I want to tell her that she isn’t to blame – that I can see so clearly where she has been let down, and that it’s not her fault. But she isn’t ready yet... so I wait, grateful for my training.

The main reason I wanted to qualify as a counsellor was for my clients. I didn’t want to branch out into general counselling work, but to be able to effectively and safely hold space for those who come to me feeling as though they’ve failed to feed their babies. It’s a common misconception that IBCLCs just do the practical work. We’re known for helping with low milk supply, painful feeding, and other issues. However, breastfeeding support is so much more complicated than giving someone instructions about how to reduce or give top ups, or writing to a GP to ask them to consider blood tests. There is a large part of this work that is sitting in silence. And that is so much easier with in depth training.

This mama and I spent an hour together, working through her experience and her feelings. I said little and listened a lot. And when we parted ways I could see her shoulders had dropped, her face relaxed, and her smile was genuine. And, as I always do, I marveled at the magic that happens when someone is held, heard, and believed.